How Can I Find a Good Mate?

If you are single you are either "single and satisfied" or "single and searching." (I suppose you also could be single and unsure about which category to which you belong. Those who are single and satisfied are content with their singleness and are not looking for a serious long term relationship. If you are single and searching you enjoy your single life but only see it as temporary. You see in your future a long term relationship with the one you love. 


If you are single and searching no doubt you have asked and are asking, "How can I find a good man (or woman)?" One story in the Bible that gives some very practical principles is found in Genesis 24. It is the story of how Isaac finds his future wife Rebekah. Read the story and then come back and see the principles that you can apply in your search for a good mate. 


Here are some principles you can apply.


1.  Know who you are looking for. In the story, Abraham, Isaac's father, instructed his servant to find a particular girl;  one who was from within their family (See verses 3 & 4.).  For you, this means you need to have some specific criteria that describes the person that you are looking for. Yes, it's okay to have a list. (Just make sure it's not too long.) For example, first on your list should be that the person is a genuine Christian who loves God and demonstrate that in their everyday life.  

2.  Have something to offer.  As the servant went looking for Issac's wife he took something to offer. He took "ten camels loaded with good things" (verse 10). The more you have to offer as a person the more attractive you will be to others. The very ideas of being "attractive" suggests that you will attract people. That is a much better position to be in;  having choices to make of people who are attracted to you.  

3.  Go to where people are. The servant was looking for a wife for Isaac. In the story he goes and hangs out at the well. Why did he go there? He went there because that is where the young girls came. (See verse 11). If you are going to find a good mate you need to go where they are.   

4.  Pray that God will give you success. In verse 12 the servant prays to God to give him success. Prayer is an exercise of faith and trust in God. He is interested in your success in all aspects of your life; especially your relationships. Before the servant finishes his prayer, Rebekah shows up. (See verses 15 7 16.)  

5.  Find out more about the possible person. In the story the servant asks a lot of questions. Initial attraction is only the first step. The more you learn about the person the better off you will be.  

6.  Give God thanks for success. When the servant knew Rebekah was the one he gave thanks to God. (See verses 26 & 27.)  

Finding a good mate is one of the most important decisions you will make in your life. Hopefully, these principles will help. Let me know if I can assist you also.


Life is about relationships. The quality of our lives is determined by the quality of our relationships. Relationships with our spouses, friends, relatives, coworkers, neighbors and strangers are demanding and add to or take away from our sense of well being. How can we best relate to the people in our lives? What characterizes good relationships? How can we address conflicts and other problem areas? These are some of the questions that I will help to address.